It was an average weekend day, walking the streets of San Francisco with my mom. We were in search of garage sale treasures. I was seven.
In the Castro, just a few blocks away from home, we spotted a good sale. Eclectic colorful items, people sorting through things. When we approached we saw a cage with a sweet cockatiel. My mother immediately scooped up the feathered creature; her name was Fortuna.
Not one for being conventional, my mom let Fortuna fly around the house. She wasn't a loud bird, more of an introvert. She would let out a cute chirp while hiding behind framed photographs.
It was a sunny Valentine's Day. A day filled with expectations and weight. At my mother's request we grabbed the cage and went to the backyard. After we sat down, my mom opened the tiny barred door and Fortuna climbed out. She looked around and then flew up, swoshed by a tall tree, and took off for freedom.
To a seven year old, purposely letting your pet run away is baffling. She'd blamed her "romanticism", but I think my mom related to Fortuna: domesticated and stuck in a cage. My mom ached to fly but didn't know how to set herself free.
Unknowingly this affected me greatly. Fortuna, and birds in general, became synonymous with freedom. And freedom was something we should obtain. It also solidified animal symbolism as a path to healing.
When I was 20 I purchased a baby African Grey parrot. I remember being so scared to open the cardboard bird cage, fearful he'd come out with a vengeance. When I gained the courage, he popped up and I was able to give him a kiss on the beak.
We named him Mendo and he ended up being a gregarious, sweet and funny parrot. Reflecting back, maybe I wanted to domesticate my freedom. After all I was living with my high school sweetheart (by the way, he still has and loves Mendo). Or maybe I wanted to understand the nature of flight and wings.
From then on, birds became a strong symbolism for me. I've asked the universe to put feathers in my path when I'm going in the right direction in life. Bird-related phrases have been computer passwords. And I love to use bird symbolism in my art.
Birds have myriad meanings. Owls are the perfect guide when looking for inner wisdom, next time you see a peacock remember that confidence is not the same as vanity, and a hawk will help you find your way in the dark or energy to finish a tough project.
But mostly birds symbolize the flight of my soul.